"This is SO unfair!"

Do you remember when you were a kid and it felt like you never got to do anything you wanted to do? When your parents were SO mean? When all the decisions they made were totally unfair?

Now that the table has turned and we are the parents it is sometimes hard to remember what those things felt like. It's easy to begin to take advantage of the freedoms we have as adults. We get to eat when and what we want, put off chores when we want, watch whatever shows we want, play video games until all hours of the night....the list goes on and on. With the exception of work - and having to do what our bosses tell us to do - we pretty much get to make our own choices with what we do.

Our kids have been asking us to switch roles with them. They want to be the grown ups and see how we like doing what they say. We've patiently explained that we have both already gone through that. I nicely reminded them we have parents too, and we were young kids once. Don't get me wrong, they've been behaving for the most part; they just get pouty when it's time to go to bed, when we won't let them have the piece of candy they want, when we tell them it's time to empty the dishwasher. Tonight was movie night. We went out to dinner. We got them Shirley Temple's. We rented Pirates of the Caribbean. And when it was over (at 9:30) they wanted to stay up. "But it's the weekend," they pleaded. "We don't have to get up tomorrow morning," they argued. But in our house when Mom or Dad say something they are expected to do it. No arguments, no delays.

But as I watch my kid cry in her bed because she thinks we are so unfair, I try to empathize with her. I try to remember what it was like when all of my friends were going to do something and my Mom said no. I try to remember what it was like when I was really craving a piece of chocolate and was told it was too late to eat. I try to remember what it was like to have boundaries and expectations placed on me by my parents.

Yes she cried. And yes, we still made them go to bed. (Although I did offer to let them stay up if they wanted to clean the bathrooms - I know, I am a shit, right?) We said they had to and so that's how it is. We try to be consistent. And we're pretty good at it. It's taught us a lot about what we tell them we expect them to do; about thinking twice before blurting out some punishment we have no intention of following through with. And that makes us good parents in my book - regardless of what my kids may say.