Here I go again

Every year I say that I am going to be better about blogging and every year I make it just a little bit further into the year. In 2013 I made it through to March and then I quit. Life got in the way, work got in the way and sometimes I was just being lazy or didn't feel like I had anything to say. And so, here I am again, with renewed ambition. We all have things that help us ease stress and induce calm. Writing does that for me - even if it's just talking about some new recipe I tried. Refocusing my energy away from work (especially now that I have a newer, more intense job) and towards something else is always refreshing and relaxing....and my family will tell you if it's one thing I need to do it's relax.

I know that it's not quite the new year, but I thought maybe I would start now. I'm really only two days away anyway. And I'm totally stressing out about the next 6 days. In 6 days I am flying to Boston where I will be staying for 6 weeks! I'm worried about leaving my work behind, I'm worried I'm not going to pack the right stuff, I'm worried about the unknown that will meet me in Cambridge, I'm worried that I'm going to miss my husband and kids so terribly that I'm going to be miserable, I'm worried about making friends, and on and on and on.

I'm working on quelling some of my fears. I've already written list after list after list for packing. And, if you follow me on Pinterest, you'll know that I've been compiling outfits that are inter-related so that I can maximize pairing different things together. I've done my best to get things taken care of at work ahead of time but I am still leaving in the middle of contract negotiations with a sensitive group that has already been through a lot.

 Mostly, the main root of my fears is that I feel selfish for pursuing this schooling (at Harvard! Did I mention that?) at the expense of the hubs and my kids. I'm going to miss my daughter's birthday. I'm going to miss countless wrestling matches and basketball games. I know they'll be ok and can make it without me, but I work hard to make sure our family life runs smoothly. Perhaps I won't be scarring the kids for life - heck, maybe they'll barely notice - but either way I hope that I am at the very least showing them what it means to take the once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that are presented to you and finding a way to make it happen.

Now, I have to get back to creating my family notebook for my mom. (She's going to be staying here off and on while I'm gone.) As I've been typing it I almost think it would a nice thing to have around all the time - contact info, medical stuff, dog care, kids chores, their schedules - but I hope that it helps her.

I know that I will be reachable by phone. And I hope to be able to Skype with them every night. And, we even are taking the opportunity to fly them out to see me for a week. But I still won't be here at home.